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Individual Entry Archive: The Experiments of Jason De Arte - Evil Lawn Dart Master, Toy Maker and Professional Software Engineer
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Humor | Saturday
November 2004 voting system - Version 0.0001
Posted by Jason on Saturday September 25, 2004 01:31 PM  |  Permalink

Gamblers have their systems, and while I don't gamble with $$$ - I gamble with the big things in my life: The direction of our representative government, careers, sitting to close to the TV, drinking Mountain Dew, riding motorcycles (OK, it's a Vespa - it sill counts in the eyes of the DMV). You get the idea.
Here's my generalized system for choosing who/what to vote for during a public ellection... (your mileage may vary)

Propositions:
In the state of California, a proposition is an AMENDMENT to the state constitution. It's a big thing that can change a lot of other things if you're not careful.
* Is it a Bond? Vote No.
* Do I understand it? Vote No
* In the state provided voter information booklet that lists the pros/cons, if the "pro" is EMPTY - Vote No
* If you read the proposition details in the voter information booklet, and you agree with it - Vote Yes.

Political Office
* If only one person is running for the post (Judge?) Vote against, put a write in vote. Voting is about choice - how can you have choice if there is only one candidate?
* If one of the candidates is dead - vote for recently departed, their family could probably use the retirement check. You may ask "What if I like the living guy?" - Hey, while I do not agree with his job performance - it worked for Ashcroft ;-)
* Vote for the one that has the funkiest or most non-relevant job title, my favorite is "Sea Captain" for School Board. If it was "Pirate" for Treasurer- that would be even better.
* If it's an unpaid position, vote for the guy with the lowest salary existing job - s/he obviously really wants to help their community regardless of the personal cost.

Presidential Office
* TBD, I haven't seen the finely choreographed and overly rehearsed debates & remain unimpressed with the current contenders from the two main political parties. When the mudslinging heats up in late October, I'm certain that I'll be even less impressed.

However the core of my system will come down to READING THE VOTER INFORMATION HANDBOOK AHEAD OF TIME and using the power of TiVo's fast forward button to skip the political commercials just as I would those annoying bowflex commercials.